My Reflection on One of the Hardest Years We’ve Had to Endure

I can’t believe it’s finally December 31st and we will be ringing a new year soon. It’s been one hell of a year that in which I’m still trying to reflect on the positives. This year has been one of growth and change whether I liked it or not. It’s also been one about attitude and outlook. I will admit my mindset about this year has been rather negative and I still possess pessimism about what’s to come in 2021.  However, in going through the Self-Improvement Sequestration Project, other avenues with which to improve my mental health and a completely open mind, I’m hoping to chip away at the negativity and really start seeing the positive things in life.

Sure, we’ve been stuck in the house for close to ten months, isolated from our friends, family, co-workers, etc. I’ve been lucky that my family has remained healthy over this period and I hope that they will stay that way until this pandemic ends. I’ve overcome obstacles and tasks with plenty of moving parts with grace and that’s something for which I can pat myself on the back.

This is the first full year that I have been a mother to twin boys. I’ve never had the experience of taking care of a baby, let alone two at once. I’m grateful for the help that I’ve had along the way from my family to keep the boys healthy, entertained and growing. I’m also happy that I have children that are easygoing, happy children. There’s been times that it’s hard and parenthood has taken me out of my comfort zone, but who hasn’t dealt with this as a parent? Parenthood is not only fulfilling, but a massive personal growth opportunity.

My husband and I also moved from one house into a temporary living situation into another house (this is the personal situation I’ve been alluding to in the last couple of posts). He has had to work during most of this period (thankfully from home), which has left a lot of the packing and coordination surrounding moving on me. We are a team and he pulled his weight as well, but clearing out and cleaning most of your house before a close settlement date is one hell of a task, let me tell you. Again, I’m appreciative of the help that I’ve had from family to watch the boys while we would go take care of this. Not only do we have two children to take care of while in the process of moving, but we’ve done this during a pandemic. I don’t necessarily want to toot my own horn, but beep beep. If you’re someone that has moved during the pandemic, especially with children, I applaud you. It’s daunting, but rewarding afterwards.

It’s normal to go through the motions of the day without reflecting on the positive things you are doing. I’m no exception to this rule, as I wasn’t thinking about how accomplishing it was to move out of one house and eventually into another. I was an autopilot in my default setting of stress, anxiety, pity, and anger. Now that my husband and I are settled into our new home, I can look back at all the stuff we’ve done and feel good that we’ve worked through a lot.

On the other hand, moving out of one house and into a new house is nothing compared to what others have had to endure this year. People have gotten seriously ill and some have even died, leaving loved ones without the opportunity to hug them or tell them how much they love them. I have such empathy for these people and wish that I could in fact give them a big hug. It still pains me to see that people were not able to say goodbye to their loved ones in the hospital and comfort them in their time of suffering.

I’m hoping that the new year will come with brighter days ahead after all the crap that we have been through as a nation and a planet. I’ve said before that I’m cautiously optimistic about the vaccine returning us to normal life and although patience is not one of my strong suits, it’s important that we continue to stay the course and hold tight before we can return to a normal way of life. I don’t think that the beginning of the year is going to be easy, but face it, life isn’t easy. Becoming a better person comes with hurdles and sometimes you fall on your face (or butt) without any hope that you will be able to continue. I’ve been there this year. No one foresaw something like this coming in our lifetime; I sure didn’t.

One word for 2021 that I’m keeping in the back of my head is hope. I’m hopeful that we will be able to see our friends and family again without the threat of illness. I’m hopeful that we can continue to grow as people. I’m hopeful that we will listen more to those that are different from us and try to get more of an understanding of why they are the way they are. Lastly, I’m hopeful that we are better for all this once the world wakes up from this bad dream.

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